Your capacity to treat those around you with kindness and compassion will increase the more self-kindness and self-compassion you can cultivate. Additionally, helping others might give your life a deeper sense of purpose. Even your physical and emotional health may benefit from it.
Here are some suggestions for incorporating self-improvement into your everyday routine and letting go of self-critical ideas.
You've undoubtedly heard it a million times, but maintaining a gratitude journal of your blessings can significantly change your outlook. According to research, practicing thankfulness every day can reduce stress, enhance sleep quality, and foster happier interpersonal relationships.
If you're having trouble figuring out what you should be thankful for, Anna Hennings, MA, a mental performance coach in sport psychology, suggests utilizing the acronym GIFT.
GIFT TECHNIQUEIn your list of things to be thankful for, search for examples of:
- Growth: personal growth, like learning a new skill
- Inspiration: moments or things that inspired you
- Friends/family: people who enrich your life
- Tranquility: the small, in-between moments, such as enjoying a cup of coffee or a good book
- Surprise: the unexpected or a nice favor
Hennings advises including the reason for your gratitude together with the items you're glad for.
Make an effort to notice individuals around you when you see them, advises psychologist Madeleine Mason Roantree. This might be done in a variety of ways, such as nodding or smiling to strangers passing by or greeting everyone who enters the workplace.
By doing this, even if you don't have a deep relationship with someone, you can notice that you feel more present and connected to others around you.
Even a little period of electronic abstinence can be good to your health. Take a break from your phone for a few hours the next time you have nothing to do.
Instead, consider taking a walk and getting in touch with your ideas.
Take a break from your phone, whether it be for a few hours or the full day. Try going outside to connect with nature or meeting up with friends in person as an alternative. Keep in mind that even a brief vacation from your phone might help you relax and concentrate on what makes you happy.
It's simple to get sucked into being too critical of your perceived flaws and harsh with yourself. Hennings claims that this destructive self-talk can reduce our motivation in general.
It can be challenging to find motivation to move toward self-improvement if, for example, you frequently remind yourself that you aren't a decent person.
Declare a fact and then be optimistic to practice positive self-talk.
FACTS + OPTIMISM = POSITIVITYThe next time you find yourself feeling incompetent or overwhelmed, try telling yourself:
“I know this change is going to be challenging, but I’ve put a lot of meaningful thought into it and have considered all the options open to me [fact], so I feel confident I am doing the best I can in this moment [optimism].”
The difficult part is recognizing when you are thinking negatively and consciously choosing to change your perspective. However, with enough practice, this will get simpler.
Giving others the benefit of the doubt can help you feel more purposeful and less alone.
Try to be kind to someone you don't know:
- Give a complete stranger a compliment.
- Purchase lunch for your coworker.
- Send a friend a card.
- Give to someone who is in need.
“You’ll notice your mood lift a little when you do good for the sheer joy of it,” says Roantree. According to studies, merely keeping track of acts of kindness for a week can increase gratitude and happiness.
It's easy to eat your food quickly without paying attention to your body when you're caught up in the middle of a busy day.
You can check in with both your physical and emotional well-being when you eat mindfully.
Take your time eating a meal, even if it's simply a sandwich. Take note of the various flavors and textures. “It’s a type of mini meditation that can act as a simple ‘de-stressor,’” says Roantree.
You may feel grouchy and unproductive throughout the day if you are not properly slept. Sleep for seven to eight hours every night.
Reduce your coffee intake in the afternoon, take a melatonin pill, or unwind in a warm bath or shower before bed to find strategies to increase the quality of your sleep.
Spend a moment concentrating on your breathing before drifting off to sleep, waiting in line for the bus, or at the grocery store. Deep breathing exercises have been demonstrated to boost our bodies' natural relaxation response and manage stress, even for a few minutes a day.
DEEP BREATHING 101Roantree suggests trying the following technique:
- As you typically would, inhale.
- Make sure your exhalation is longer than your inhalation.
- Continue doing this until you begin to unwind. If you want to count, try inhaling for four counts, holding for seven, and then expelling for eight.
Whether you have a relaxing or stressful day at home depends on how you feel about it.
Set a timer for 30 minutes the next time you have some free time, then complete a few small housekeeping tasks to brighten your day, like:
- sanitizing the bathroom mirror.
- putting up that beloved photograph you've been meaning to show.
- arranging your workspace.
Spend some time relaxing in your newly cleaned environment as a reward for yourself; apply a face mask, for example, in the bathroom.
Holding on to regret, sadness, and hatred affects others. You are also hurt by it. Any of these feelings will have an impact on your mood and how you treat everyone, including yourself.
“Harboring unforgiveness breads negative thoughts,” says Catherine Jackson, a licensed clinical psychologist and neurotherapist. “Decide to let it go and make a plan to never go to bed angry.”
Self-care is frequently associated with manicures and spa visits (which are all great ways to destress). Jackson, though, asserts that regular self-care goes far beyond pampering. “It’s also about eating well and getting enough nutrition to support your brain and body,” she explains.
Similar to this, make sure you're moving your body mindfully or exercising, spending time with people, and relaxing or taking some time off for yourself.
These don't have to take a lot of time. Find brief 10- or 20-minute periods of time during the day to go for a walk outside or to make yourself a bowl of fresh fruit.
Many of us have the propensity to dwell on what has been said to us and frequently replay it in our minds. Jackson advises extending empathy and understanding to the other person as well as to ourselves, as opposed to taking things personally and being judgmental of oneself.
Consider all the ways you influence others for the better, and attempt to list them in a journal every day. Again, these need not be elaborate displays.
Perhaps you held the door open for a person hauling a few large suitcases. Or, when you saw the coffee was running low at work, you started preparing a fresh pot.
If you find you’re still struggling to change your frame of mind, Jackson advises to think of it this way: “Tomorrow is a new day, so if you beat yourself up today about something, let yourself off the hook and start fresh tomorrow.”
BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIENDTry to treat yourself the same way you would a loved one. Would you constantly talk down to your best friend if they had an “off” day and dropped the ball on something?
Hopefully not. And you shouldn’t talk to yourself that way, either.
It's common to grow preoccupied with striving to improve oneself. However, the first step in becoming a better person is to treat yourself with the same loving care that you do other people.
This entails being gentle with yourself when you fall short of your goals and being kind to yourself when you're having a terrible day.
Remember that there are several strategies to improve oneself; the ones listed here are but a handful. Try to incorporate the things that make you feel the happiest and most nurturing into your daily life.
